Wins & Losses On and Off the Field: Athletes in Recovery

Jan 24

My emotions were spent by the time the Buffalo Bills playoff game ended last night. I had thought we won the game at least 3 separate times, only to have my exhilaration dashed to find out we had yet one more battle ahead. I watched as Josh Allen sat down after each offensive victory thinking the job was likely done, only to put his helmet back on to go out and recover the lead yet again. And then came the silence and stillness of another hard-fought defeat. A defeat that would follow the players home. . .

Buffalo has waited so long to experience a winning team and the rollercoaster from hope to disappointment was difficult to ride again! We wanted the win for our dedicated players, our stagnant city, and our own need for something good to happen in these last few covid years.

I couldn't resist staying tuned to see the coaches and players' reactions. Soon, I realized that my own emotional intensity and instability hardly compared to that of those guys on the field. And my mind quickly drifted to Jordan Poyer’s story.

Given that my son is a huge fan of Poyer, and I am a psychotherapist, when I came across an article on his recovery from addiction, I read it with intention. I was so proud of Poyer for telling his story to the world and risking public scrutiny and accountability. He also exposed the effects of addiction and mental health struggles on spouses and families. He acknowledged the problems that can arise as athletes deal with wins and losses; fame and fortune; job insecurity and performance pressure; career and family; past and present.

So, when Poyer came on camera for his post-game interview, suddenly I wasn’t as focused on the team loss anymore. Instead, I thought of the even bigger battle he was going to face that night and in the days ahead. Disappointments are hard for anyone, but for a person who struggles with depression, anxiety, or addiction, they can be devastating. Further, dealing with it all in the public eye and contemplating its effect on your team, job security, future career, and family adds even more pressure.

Opioids, alcohol, and other substances provide distraction and temporary relief from physical, emotional, and mental pain. These athletes are going home feeling flooded with all sorts of pain, and if they don’t have healthy coping mechanisms and a good support system to draw from, their chances of using or abusing are even greater. For someone like Poyer, in the early stages of recovery, the temptation and desperation will require him to battle harder than he did on the field. He has to choose to face reality, rather than run from it. He has to feel the feelings instead of distracting them. He has to face himself, his family, his coaches, and his teammates with a clear mind and sober lifestyle amid his disappointment. And he is likely not the only one who will go to battle tonight for his well being. . .

So, yes, Buffalo is sad and frustrated that we lost the game. It was a real disappointment.

But to all the Buffalo Bills players (and their spouses and families) coming home to more personal battles, the game is still far from over.

I am cheering you on to personal victory! Keep fighting the fight and striving for the win. Your worth, your family, and your strength are greater than this game!

You and your mental health matter far beyond all that you left on the field yesterday! Your future is not determined by the toss of a coin. It is determined by every step you take toward recovery. Press on!